is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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