just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Randomize
