I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
