The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
