So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
