they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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