You're so nebulous sometimes
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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