i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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