So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
