Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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