So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
