I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Randomize
