I'm lost and stupid without you.
I CAN MOONWALK!
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize