her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize