even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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