I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
