FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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