I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize