Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
