My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
