why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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