No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
