dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
