He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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