Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
