Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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