Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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