Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
