You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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