Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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