I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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