he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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