I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Small penises have feelings too.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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