i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
