wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
