OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Sorry my hands just texted you
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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