So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize