Me too!
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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