omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
