eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
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Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
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Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
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