We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
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We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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