Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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