Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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