well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
