He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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