Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Randomize
