I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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