You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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