That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize