Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
