i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
