So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
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He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
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New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize