I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
