So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
