I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
