The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
