I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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