Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I believe in your delicious
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
