Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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