He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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