They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Welp...herpes.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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