I am in a vortex of obligation.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
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