Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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