Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
