You're completely useless in the revolution.
I think I died a long time ago.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
