dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
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He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
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you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
false alarm, still single
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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